I sometimes find myself wishing I could blame someone else for how I feel or for my lot in life, but when I do, I meander along the victim end of the continuum, where I feel quite crummy. There is a continuum on which lie the two extremes of how much responsibility we can take for ourselves. On one end is complete victim-hood, where we feel that we are passive recipients of life's circumstances. On the other is where we feel we are the captain of our own ship, leading ourselves through calm and stormy seas.
We create our own reality, whether we think so or not. We use our free will to navigate through our day and if we don't pay attention to what decisions we make, then we may make them out of habit or because of old hurts, etc., and that usually causes harm. Living consciously is to live with purpose. This can only be done if we know ourselves well enough to understand why we make the choices we do.
Isn't it so easy to push the blame for how we feel onto other people, institutions, or rules of some kind? It's not worth it. I trick myself into thinking I'm better off because the problems are someone else's fault. If I'm so well off, then why do I still feel badly?
When I spend my time waiting for something to change, someone else to make a decision, complaining about how things didn't go my way, it feels as if my power is sealed in a jar up on a shelf. I can only use my power if I open the jar and decide which way to go. The emotions that go along with feeling powerful are all good and reproduce themselves as long as I remain in the captain's seat. In those moments when I don't know what to do yet, I can use my power to maintain my confidence within the uncertainty. I can feel good knowing that I will know what to do when the time is right.
Regardless of what happens in my life, I am always in control of myself and that is actually quite comforting, as scary as it sometimes is.
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