Sunday, January 30, 2011

You've Gotta Please Yourself

I sometimes find myself trying to please others.  It seems as though somewhere deep inside me I feel that if I just try hard enough to be perfectly sweet, I will succeed in being chummy with everyone I know.  I understand this is not realistic.  I understand that the world is made up of all kinds of people, with all kinds of opinions and perspectives.  I'd be contorting myself into every crazy shape in order to be what all these people want me to be.  I know this because I've done it, and boy is it exhausting!
When my goal is to please others, I don't stand for anything.  I don't take a position.  Instead, I just go along smiling in agreement.  When my goal is to live up to the principals I believe in, I please myself and feel proud of who I am. 
Once I began to stand up for what I believe is right, I found that most people don't want me to give up who I am to please them.  My indeterminacy leaves them wondering what I really meant by my words.  People will sometimes stare blankly while trying to decipher my true thoughts and intentions.  That's not good for either party.  It detracts from the relationship, leaving it relatively shallow, whether a marital, sibling, employment or any other.  It's much more comfortable to conduct a relationship when you know where the other person stands and there aren't undercurrents of unspoken feelings. 
A relationship based in truth is meaningful.  If I stick to telling the truth about what I think, feel, and do, I please myself.  People don't always want to hear the truth because it often hurts; but only in truth is there growth.

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